And God said. "Let there be light". And there was light.
The other night I lay awake staring at a strange band of light on my door. I felt no fear, but confusion bled through my cobwebs. Where did it come from, I wondered, as it was only two feet from the floor. I was tired and lapsed back into my MP3 audio performance of Sherlock Holmes. When I am tired I let Holmes worry about mysteries.
I think if I were a fictional character I would be a Hobbit. Hobbits are fond of an unadventurous bucolic life of farming, eating, and socializing, although they will defend their homes courageously if the need arises. They enjoy at least seven meals a day, when they can get them – breakfast, second breakfast, elevenses, luncheon, afternoon tea, dinner and (later in the evening) supper.
I still have nightmares as a result of my days in Peace Corps. During my training stage, among the quickly forgotten lectures about sexually transmitted diseases, was a warning that stuck: "Gaboon Viper". Bites from this monster are relatively rare, due to their docile nature. But that is the brilliance, the true danger of this monster; it is a real lazy lout, a "load"! Due to their sluggishness and unwillingness to move when approached, people are often bitten after they step on them.
My recurring nightmare is that I am walking in the woods (in my movie dream it is actually a forest in Africa) on a moonless night. Naturally, I don't have Anti-venom, I don't even have a flashlight. A Gaboon Viper, wound up like a coiled spring, lies in wait, ready to strike, somewhere along my path. The color pattern of that snake is so camouflaged that it is almost invisible among the browns and reds of the fallen leaves. It is a monster of about three feet long, and as thick as my calf. The head is as large as my fist, with fangs a good three inches long. If it sinks those fangs into my leg I will die of fright before the venom has time to take effect.
My adventures in Africa were ill planned, foolhardy. I smoked way too much marijuana! I had heard about a cave system near where I was stationed. Through my students I located someone who would take us near the caves. I convinced three female Peace corps volunteers that this could be the adventure of a lifetime (what do they teach those fools at Harvard?). We managed to buy two small flashlights. Our only prior experience with working in dark, confined locations may have been hiding in a closet from an angry parent.
Our guide was smart. We had driven about ten miles from a village on a dirt track. He stopped and pointed in a direction. He said that the caves were near....the standard response given by every local Zaroise (this was the Republic of Zaire at the time) to a request for directions. He wasn't going with us...too dangerous. He would return at dusk. He didn't need a university education to know how to avoid danger. We walked a couple of miles, not knowing what to look for, when we came to a group of unusual rock formations and, to our total surprise, an opening to what we all agreed, was a cave. One of us had seen Journey to the Center of the Earth as a child, so she laid claim to "cave expert". We confirmed that both flashlights worked and with our small Cub Scout canteen, entered the cave.
A short walk through a chamber took us to an incredible chamber. All around us were huge stalactites and stalagmites. Our two flashlights gave us enough light to display the scene in all its glory. Being well educated individuals, one would think that we sat down, inhaled the beauty (and maybe some pot) while telling each other some scary stories for the next hour. If so, maybe this posting would deviate from a PG rating as I described the aphrodisiatic effects of spelunking. Not to be, so don't chase the kids away.
One of the women found a side chamber and started in. The rest of us followed. It quickly became a crawl space. And it was slimy, slippery, maybe clay. And dark, very dark as the two flashlights were with the first two crawlers (do they teach anything at Harvard?). Actually they don't think they teach you anything at the smaller schools for that matter, as I didn't keep one of the lights. A good Hobbit would not have made that mistake. A good Hobbit would have still been munching snacks and singing songs in the large chamber of the cave, We couldn't have been crawling for more than fifteen minutes, before screams came from the front. Stuck! Scared. Soon terrified. The woman in the front must have been kicking the next woman, because I was soon kicking and screaming at the one behind me. The chamber was too narrow and slippery to turn around.
Some you have seen the commercial about the guy who loses his sun glasses, (it's a car commercial, actually) and then finds them on the top of his head as he runs from a cave surrounded by bats...and is greeted with a smile from his lovely friend. We were surrounded by bats as we ran screaming from the cave. But there were no smiles. And certainly no "nookie" for this muddy camper from either of the three women.
From "Our Vanishing Night" by Verlyn Klinkenborg:
- Now most of humanity lives under intersecting domes of reflected, refracted light, of scattering rays from over lit cities and suburbs, from light-flooded highways and factories. For most of human history, the phrase "light pollution" would have made no sense. Imagine walking toward London on a moonlit night around 1800, when it was Earth's most populous city. Nearly a million people lived there, making do, as they always had, with candles and rush lights and torches and lanterns. Only a few houses were lit by gas, and there would be no public gaslights in the streets or squares for another seven years. From a few miles away, you would have been as likely to smell London as to see its dim collective glow.
- Most city skies have become virtually empty of stars.
I feel I am fumbling for coherent thoughts, so tomorrow let's shed some light on the matter:
And God saw the light, that it was good, and God divided the light from the darkness. And God called the light day, and the darkness He called the night. And it was evening and it was morning. A first day.
May I recommend for your enjoyment: I believe in God...or do I?
You may also enjoy reading: I'm the best there is at what I do, but what I do isn't very nice.
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